I've been home for almost a month now, and I can safely say it has been a month full of ups and downs. To be completely honest, it has almost been harder coming back home than it was to leave 6 months ago.
When I left for Denver, I sort of knew what I was getting myself into. I knew I would be meeting a lot of new people and I would be experiencing a lot of new things. When I left Denver to come home, I knew it would be hard; I didn't realize how hard.
In YWAM, you basically live in a bubble. It is laid out as such in order to help cultivate a lifestyle that stimulates spiritual, personal, and community growth. However, it is hard to leave the security of that bubble. It is hard to not have scheduled quiet times to grow in relationship with Jesus. It's hard to not be surrounded by people who understand exactly what you mean when you reminisce because they lived it with you. And among other things, it's hard to come home and fall.
When I was in Denver, I was away from my family so it was easy to not fight with them. When I was in Denver, the wifi was tracked, so it was easy to fight temptations. When I was in Denver, I was surrounded by people who helped keep me accountable when it came to getting enough sleep or having an intentional time with Jesus. When I was in Denver, it was a few of the most exciting months of my life.
It is frighteningly easy to sit here at home and think about how amazing that experience was and be satisfied with that. But I don't want to sit on my bed and be satisfied with living in the past. If we constantly lived in the past, there would be no new future to look forward to!
Rather, I choose to look toward the future and be excited about what is to come; also being thankful for being right where I am at this second. I choose to be thankful for fighting with my family because I have a family (who I love very much). I choose to be thankful for the grace of God, which covers me- both when I fall AND when I don't. I choose to be thankful for the amazing community God placed in my life for my season in Denver, as well as the ability to keep in touch with them (I will always be looking forward to seeing them all again!).
So as you sit reading this, thank God for the season you are in. It is doubtless that He has placed you in this season without reason. I promise you that He wants to show you something through this, whether it be about you or maybe it is something He wants to show you about His unfailing character. Whether you are floating through what are the best months of your life so far or if you are fighting just to stand up in the morning, press into God. Seek Him through it because no matter what, He loves you through it and He is forever worthy.
As always, thank you for all the prayers- and PLEASE let me know if there is any way I can pray for you!
God bless,
Erin
