Kindness in the Mess

Over the last few days, I have started reading through a devotional I received when my School of Worship and I got to sit in on a couple sessions at Bethel's WorthipU. The entry I read last night, written by Jessie Phillips, talked about when she started beekeeping to be able to harvest fresh honey from her backyard. She wrote about the first time she gathered a harvest of honey. She described the mess the honey made and the golden, gooey sweetness which got all over her. She then went on to describe the thoughts which began to draw parallels between sticky honey and God's kindness.

"When I look back at that moment, I see the Father showing me that His kindness is just like that honey. When I go to harvest his kindness, it is like liquid gold that covers me from head to toe, and my entire disposition changes. Instead of becoming anxious, I end up being a joyful participant- hands immersed in His goodness, totally drenched in joy. When I go to meet His kindness, I am always met by an abundance that fills up jar after jar in my heart. It's a kindness that never spoils- a kindness whose nutrients will carry me through winter."

At the end of each entry, a prompt is given as an encouragement to go deeper in time with the Lord and cultivate your time with him. At the end of this day, there was a prompt to get your hands dirty and seek the Lord in how he wants to meet you with kindness in that activity. My first instincts built a wall faster than most anything. "My life is already messy- I don't need to get my hands dirty in the real sense."

This morning I decided to bake some banana bread without a thought of last night. As I got some of the batter on my fingers, what I had read last night came to mind. I thought about the mess my life seems to me and realized how tangible the kindness of God is in my every day. Even on days when it seems all I think about are broken dreams and things which may never be, my life still drips with his kindness; filled with joy, covered in hope.

Every day, my life is saturated in reminders that God is good, even down to the unexpected song choice on Sunday morning when the worship team played King of My Heart (John Mark McMillan) and as always, the repeated bridge reminded me God is never going to let me down. Take a minute (or 7) and listen to this song. Think about the truth God is never going to let you down. Think about the truth of God as good, despite the bad faced around the world every day. Think about God's kindness in the messy. Think about God being the King of your heart and the beauty held within that.

Some Answers When I Have None

Answers to general questions are here!

Question: "When do you get home?"
Answer: I'm home now! I flew in on Tuesday night and have been getting used to being back home as well as doing a little bit of processing.

Question: "What are you doing now?"
Answer: I start my new job (at Applebee's!) on Monday! Yesterday, Wednesday, I had an interview and they hired me on the spot! Yippee! I hate job hunting and now I'm done with it for a while.

Question: "What are you doing next?"
Answer: I'm really not sure, honestly. As far as doing another YWAM school or going to college, I have no immediate plans but I wouldn't be against either at some point!

Question: "How was your trip/school/time?"
Answer: It was amazing! Three of the most challenging months. More challenging than most of DTS, but also a completely different experience. In reality, it is basically like comparing pears and apples. They both have a lot of similarities, but they are also completely different!

Question: "What is the biggest thing you learned?"
Answer: I really don't have a way to answer this. I learned so many things and there is no way to narrow it down to a concise answer.

Many of our speakers were all over the place and told us a lot of different things in a lot of different ways. But know that I'll be able to take pieces of things I've been taught and apply them to my life. From learning about music theory and being able to work on ear training, to studying the Bible and making sure I do life with a Biblical foundation in how I love people and do what I do.

Overall, my SOW experience was absolutely incredible and I am beyond thankful I had the opportunity to do it! As for now, I'm excited to put to use the things I've learned and be intentional with what I'm given.

God bless and love from me,
Erin

Oh yeah! If you want to download the amazingness which is my school's live recording of a few of our original songs, here is the link! http://www.noisetrade.com/ywamdenver/sixteen I am so proud of my classmates and I and all we accomplished in this season and it is an honor to have an audible record of a small slice of what we did!

YWAM Denver School of Worship 2016
Photo Cred: Chrysti (via Andrew's Facebook)

Creativity and Community

One month from today I will be flying home to Washington. Two months ago at this time, I was preparing to leave again for Denver. It is crazy to me how fast this year has gone. It's strange to me how time only seems to pass faster as I get older; a concept I'm sure I will become more aware of as I grow older.

Over the last two months in School of Worship, we have been looking at many different facets of worship leading, what worship is, songwriting, and creativity in general. We have had incredible, creative and talented speakers and it has been an honor to share time and meals with them.

In all reality, all of our speakers have had a huge impact on my life- whether they know it or not. However, I think the week which has stuck out to me during these swift months was back in week 6. We had the pleasure of having Jim Ehrman, Nathan Johnson, and Eric Tate as our speakers. Each of them is inspired, with Jim having been a professor at Yale University, Nathan having written soundtracks for movies, and Eric as a music mixer who in his own unique way pulls the soul out of raw music and gives it a new life in the way he mixes it. Seriously though, these guys spoke in our school!

They didn't really teach us in a conventional way; although we did learn. Over the course of their week, I felt like I was sitting in on the type of conversation people would have in a coffee shop while sipping lattes. Listening in on conversations of people with different experiences and different points of view, there was so much more communicated than just the words they spoke.

The Monday night of their week, because Eric lives locally, he and his wife invited us over to their house where they cooked a delicious meal of spare ribs, a personal take on a German potato salad, a red cabbage slaw all finished off with roasted pineapple and vanilla ice cream for dessert. To say it was a nice change from base food is an understatement! I felt like I was in a dream while feasting on the incredible food and enjoying the group of amazing people.

Over the course of the short three days we had with these people, we got a taste of what they value in their lives when it comes to community. As we sat down for dinner on Monday, my heart felt so full, realizing part of what I hold in my heart was tangibly in front of me. A community that gathers together, laughs, eats outside in spite of the rain, talks about things that are valuable and simply grow together as they seek the Lord's heart when it comes to what community looks like. I feel like that evening, sitting around a long table, eating piquant food, I got to glimpse a piece of Heaven. Community, breaking bread [spare ribs] together, listening to music with a festive, joyful feeling.

Toward the end of the week, as I was reflecting with people, someone said the sense of community they brought to our school was not because they were impressive people, but more so, it was something they carry with them. Community is something they see the value of, and although our triad of speakers don't all live in the same places (Connecticut, California, and Colorado), they are intentional about the community they have, across miles and across time. That is inspiring to me as someone who at this point has no idea where I'm going to settle down. But with seeing that sense of community as something I want to carry as well, consider this your invitation of an open door at my house (whenever I actually move out of my parents' house) to come over when you need to or if you ever need a listening ear to feel free to shoot me a message.

With only one month left during this School of Worship, I am really just thankful for all our speakers, and all the lessons we've been given, our incredible school staff, and all they have put into this season for us. We have one month left which is going to fly by. We leave for California Wednesday morning, one week of lecture when we get back from there and only one week until graduation after we finish hearing from him. But here's to irreplaceable opportunities and all that is yet to come in the finish of this season.

Please be praying for us as 30 students and staff pile into two 15 passenger vans to drive across the mountains and desert over to Fremont, California. Close quarters, long hours of driving, and hot temperatures are good ways to break peoples' patience. God is going to do big things in our lives as we take this midterm outreach to Cali.

Thank you all for all the prayers over the last few months! I look forward to meeting up with people and catching up when I get home. Let me know if you'd like to grab a coffee or would like to Skype sometime!

God bless and love from me,
Erin

Puzzles and Passions

In the last few weeks, I have been amazed countless times. I've been amazed at the creativity I've come face to face with; I'm amazed at the amount of exhaustion facing our school as we are giving everything we have to give; I'm amazed at the beauty of thunderstorms and sunsets; I'm amazed at the huge hearts held in the people around me.

You know when someone carries something in who they are and although you can't quite put your finger on it, you know you want it? Like when there's a sparkle in someone's eye that just fascinates you. Or when you experience the immense heart of someone you just met. Sometimes it's even getting to put a face to a name you've heard often- that by hearing that name so many times, you just know there is something about them that you want to know.

I think something that sets people apart are passions. When someone holds a passion, they live differently. When someone has a passion, they talk about it.  And when they talk about it, an emotion is sparked in you (whether positive or negative) that then makes you come alive. Sometimes it's about social justice. Sometimes it's about kittens. Sometimes it's about a significant other. Sometimes it's about singleness.

But you know.

The passion you have- no matter what it is- is a significant piece of the puzzle called life. Although you may never have all the pieces, your piece could be the one that helps fill in a problem spot on someone else's puzzle.

Take a moment and imagine if someone else had the puzzle piece that you needed, but they never shared it. You would never know the way to fill in that part of your puzzle.

My point is, every single person is important for each other. Whether you make people step up and think about politics or if you make people slow down and think about the adorableness of baby animals, you have a voice and there are people longing to hear it.

If you would like to be praying for my school and I, we will be leaving in approximately a month to road trip over to California for a midterm outreach. (15 or so hours in a car with 15 people is a long time!). Also, being halfway through the school, we are all feeling it; prayers for us as a whole as we continue pouring in everything we have in order to learn the most during this time.

God bless and love from me,
Erin

Future of Forestry!

Writing music is hard. Music theory is somewhat confusing. Having Biblical foundations in anything is increasingly difficult in today's society. Not quite knowing where you fit is frustrating. Having dreams of big things yet not knowing how to take steps to get there is discouraging.

On the flip side, having people sing and develop a song you wrote is empowering. Music theory is like opening a brand new palatte of infinite color combinations. Having Biblical foundations in anything is pivotal. Not quite knowing where you fit in creates an opening for many friendships to be created. Having big dreams and not knowing what steps forward to take is empowering in the ability to try close to anything in order to make dreams reality.

I'm still trying to figure out why I'm attending this school. I'm not sure where I'm going when I graduate. I'm not quite sure where I'm going in life. Yet over even the last couple days, I have gotten to see that even in my confusion, God is still the answer. It sounds so cliche, yet it is probably the most true thing I have ever said.

When I start losing track of my thoughts or my mind gets distracted by any number of things, my focus comes back when I have my life put into perspective. When I try fighting the Lord on what I think He should do, He puts things back in perspective and renews my resolve that He is the answer I need. In reality, He is actually the answer I've been seeking the whole time.

Yes. I still don't understand things. My mind still wanders and races and I don't understand things. Yet through it, I know that it is okay I don't know everything. It's okay that I have questions.

I am also looking at/praying about/ debating about making a cross country road trip happen sometime in my future! If you have any suggestions of places to hit, places to stay (I like people!), or any other suggestions, feel free to let me know!

Also. If you haven't heard of Future of Forestry (the band) you should look them up. Their music is pretty great. Go watch this video!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BgLZZViOV2A
We got to write a song with the lead singer, Eric Owyoung in class. It was super!

God bless and love from me,
Erin

Shattering the Expected

I got to Denver last Monday, May 9 and it has been very different being back!

I'm a very comparative person (one of my weaknesses). Last time I was here, I had nothing to compare my upcoming experience to. I had never lived with people for 5 months straight, outside of my family. I knew I was getting myself into a very different, very new experience going into DTS. It was an amazing 5 months filled with new people, places, and experiences.

When I got here last Monday, I unintentionally had comparisons stacked up in my mind of people I would encounter, things I would do, a schedule I would keep, and where I would be for the next 3 months. Now here I am, a week in, and I'm again having to let the expectations fall in order for God to do what He intends.

I'm having to be vulnerable with new, different people, guarding pieces of me which I have mentally put blocks around. Different struggles are around me this time with different emotions and different challenges.

Really, this is a hard update to write, seeing as I'm not sure what to say. I have been trying to be more intentional, open, and realistic with updating y'all, yet here I sit, listening to Switchfoot, not quite sure what to say, other than it has been a very strange week. Don't get me wrong; it has been amazing to meet everyone and start building relationships and starting classes today, but it has really been a strange experience which I wasn't quite anticipating.

So that's where I'll wrap up for today. I guess it's a cliff-hanger, in a way, and yet is completely fitting, seeing as life isn't full of perfect experiences wrapped in a little bow. Today, I'm at a cliff-hanger in the middle of a season, so I will leave you with the same, and a simple encouragement to push through the tough, frustrating times. Even through hard times, God is still good. Through the circumstances, don't forget God's character and the goodness He holds in Who He is.

God bless and love from me,
Erin

Dozens of Donuts and a Hermitage Heritage

I finished my last blog post by talking about remembering where I come from when it comes to my family and my heritage. That led it to be incredibly fitting when I went to my family cabins (in Oregon) this past weekend.

A little bit of history on the cabins (to the best of my knowledge/memory):
James and Jennie Reeher moved, with their 6 kids, out to Oregon and planted a homestead in the middle of nowhere back in the late 1800's. Over the years, the land changed hands within the family and through the foresight of the kids, a "business" was formed. This allowed the following generations to collectively own parts of the area, and have a hand, as shareholders, to keep up with what happens with our family property, have cabins, and own (both emotionally and monetarily) a piece of this property set aside by my great, great, grandparents and "grand aunts and uncles" to hold for generations to come. Not many families have this kind of heritage and it is just a piece of the amazing family I come from and how thankful I am for them.

Looking up the Wilson river from the porch of the A-frame,
one of the cabins built by hand by family back in the 50's.

See guys? I told you I have an amazing family (stretching beyond just my immediate family)!

So, to sum up, the cabins hold a lot of history within my family, as well as a lot of memories for me. My sister got married there. I have gotten to spend countless weekends swimming in freezing cold water, eating sour grass with cousins, getting lost while hiking and listening to stories my family tells of "when I was younger..." and all that comes with those stories.

When I went down this past weekend, it was for the first time in almost 3 years. I was greeted with a rush of memories and an overwhelming gratitude for this beautiful place my family thought ahead to preserve for the future generations to come. Being there for far too short a time, made me realized through the next years, with such an uncertain future and wanting to chase so many aspects of huge dreams, I will always have a piece of home waiting for me with so much history. Whether I visit every weekend, or only make it there every few years, it will forever hold a piece of my heart.

That was last weekend. One week before leaving to go back to another land which holds a piece of my heart! Now I'm down to 3 days before I fly out. And I still haven't started packing. BUT, with meeting with dear friends, I received inspiration and a kick in the butt to do one last fundraiser. After finishing a coffee date with a friend of mine (and fellow YWAMer) I ordered more donuts than I can possibly sell on my own. In order to get the last $1,000 needed to pay off my school, I need your help. On Sunday, May 8th, I will be outside Chehalis Wal-Mart selling Krispy Kreme donuts. Come pick up a box! For only $12 for a delicious glazed dozen, you are helping me get to Denver and you get Krispy Kreme donuts without driving to Tacoma or Vancouver. So, stop by around 10 in the morning and pick up your delicious donuts to go with your post-dinner coffee!

This is it! My next update will probably be from Denver! Thank you so much for all your support and prayers. A few specific prayer requests:

• Packing (always the thing I put off the longest!)
• Me and my classmates as we are traveling to and arriving in Denver, starting this new season and all the changes which come with that.
• The YWAM Denver staff as they are finalizing preparations for this new term!

God bless and love from me,
Erin

Beaches and Sunsets

For the last week, I've been on a whirlwind trip with Jennifer through LA, San Diego, Phoenix, with a big finish of flying out of Las Vegas (it was literally driving to the airport in south Vegas, and flying out).

When I didn't leave for SOMD in January, it was hard. It was a blow to my pride, having to concede my inability to make everything happen the way I wanted to. For Christmas, I got a hiking backpack from my parents. I had been so excited to use it and when I didn't get to take it to Denver in January, I was disappointed so Jennifer and I decided to go on an adventure. It took a couple different forms over the last few months, and in the end, although we didn't get to do everything we wanted to, we achieved the things which were most important. I got to see friends from DTS, both my grandpas, cousins, cousin's babies, my aunt and uncle, and some dear friends who live in Phoenix.

With leaving for School of Worship in 2 1/2 weeks, I went back and forth a lot on whether or not to go on a vacation that close before. I landed on yes because although I have been to many new places in the last years and have had some incredible experiences, travel for pleasure versus travel with an agenda are two different things. For this trip, we go to enjoy three wonderful days in SoCal before driving over to Phoenix to see family and help my grandpa move. So in Cali, it was three days of freedom to do whatever we wanted. We explored the San Diego Air and Space Museum, went on a bike ride around Coronado Island, spent hours on beaches, tried new ice creams, enjoyed some delicious Greek food, and took deep breaths in the refreshing thought of no responsibilities, even for just a short time.

I think one of the reasons I love road trips is because it allows me to see so much beauty that I don't see all the time at home. Driving through the desert and seeing the sun falling across the mountains which turns the rocks pretty colors and the shadows highlighting the valleys and crevices. Or driving from LA to San Diego, playing peek-a-boo with the ocean as we drove along the road, seeing slivers of the crystal blue water before finally enjoying it in all it's glory as we pulled in and the entire horizon shone covered by the vast expanse of the ocean. I will proudly say I live in one of the most beautiful lands on Earth (at least in the US!) but whenever I go somewhere, I love getting a refresher course in the beauty the rest of the world holds and getting to see once again, God's fingerprints all over everywhere I go.

Although in some ways, it felt like this trip rung my heart out emotionally, it was also like letting my heart soak in a bowl of water to refill. It got me more excited for School of Worship (if it is even possible for me to be more excited about that than I already was?) and reminded me that as much as I enjoy looking toward the future, where I want to go, and things I want to do, I need to remember where I come from. I come from an incredibly supportive family who wants what's best for me. I come from hospitality and people willing to host. I come from love and teamwork. With every step I take forward, I always want to remember where I come from, never forgetting to incorporate some of my past into my future as I continue on this crazy journey called life.

Stitching Up the Holey

I am once again down to the one month mark! In 4 weeks, I get to trek back to Colorado for the School of Worship and I am bubbling with anticipation! Well, mostly; some nervousness and anxiety creep in every once in a while and I have to specifically remember that my God is greater than my biggest fears.

Fears of not being good enough.
Fears of being overshadowed.
Fears of not getting the funds I need.
Fears that I'm making a huge mistake.
Fears of what people will think.

If you know me, you know I have some crazy dreams and if you really know me, you know that I can be a very jealous person. It is something I have to constantly face and let God mold my heart with. It's a battle which has torn holes in what I thought were solid friendships. To be real, my green envious face tends to show itself at the most inopportune times.

My latest challenge came when my best friend announced that she's doing SOW in May. In Denver. My selfishness immediately kicked in, thinking about how YWAM Denver was mine first. I knew those people first. Those were MY relationships.
No, seriously. In my mind, I sounded like a five year old. An incredibly selfish five year old.

But God has plans bigger than my selfishness. A day or so into my wallowing, God tapped me on the shoulder and reminded me of a dream I had a few years ago:

A and I were playing worship songs at the entrance of an Underground tunnel in the heart of London. A small group had gathered around us and as people passed, they questioned the motivation of these people barely playing guitar while singing, but they were interested. 

That dream hasn't crossed my mind very much since I first encountered it, but as I stood there recalling it, God asked me, "What if this school together is the first step in making that dream a reality?"

God continues to amaze me in who He is; through His patience with my selfishness, His wisdom in my questioning, and His loyalty within friendships. He is a good Father and He is so invested in the little battles I fight every day.

A week ago, I was excited to leave Centralia because I got to go back to Denver and not have to deal with holes left in relationships back home. But now, I am excited to walk into battle to begin my unique School of Worship journey with my best friend by my side. God is good and I am excited to keep walking through the process of dreams becoming reality- even when it means stitching up holes; sometimes getting pricked by the needle.

**As the date grows closer, I still need approximately $2,000 by May 9th. If you would be interested in helping me on this journey, please feel free to message me on Facebook, text me, or leave a comment! If you would like to donate to my School of Worship, you can do so at the YWAM Denver online payments page. Or if you would like to know other information, please feel free to ask!**

Thank you so much for all your support and prayers!

A few specific prayer requests:

• Finances (approximately $2,000 in 4 weeks!)
• Packing
• Prayers for my school as we embark on this adventure!

God bless and love from me,
Erin

Making Things Happen

This post is simply a few ways I'm working on raising monies for SOW. One of them is even a way YOU can earn money while I get some money back (and it only takes a couple minutes). Keep reading to see what's up!

1) I am selling arm knit infinity scarves (as modeled by me in the photo to the right, accompanied by my darling little sister!) for $20 each. I currently have a couple different colors of yarn to use, but we can definitely talk about options if you're looking for more specific colors. They are cozy and scarves are great!

2) I recently found an app called Ibotta. Basically, it's rebates on your phone on things like groceries and everyday things you may need to get.
You make an account on the app, unlock a rebate, go shopping (make sure you buy that product!), then verify your purchase by scanning your receipt. Seriously, it's that easy.
I can earn money through this because when you enter my referral code (drnmliy) when you sign up, I get $5 when you redeem your first rebate and you get $10. The app keeps track of how much you earn through your rebates and when you reach $20, you can cash it out for gift cards or have it deposited into your account. So basically, you're getting money back, and donating to me in the process by just going grocery shopping!

3) YOU! If you want to make direct donations, you can send checks (made out to Erin Lund) to:
205 Wakefield Dr.
Centralia, WA 98531
(I guess you could send cash, too, but that's really not advised!)

Or you can donate online at:
https://www.ywamdenver.org/school_payments
My email address to enter is missycook1@gmail.com
Select the School of Worship from the drop down list and enter the date as May 2016.


I just want to take a moment and say thank you to everyone who has been following me on this journey. God is doing big things in my life and even though it is intimidating to me, I am excited to see where I go from here.

Finally, if you have any other suggestions of how I can raise money, questions, prayer requests, comments, or any other reasons, feel free to message me on Facebook, leave a comment, text, or even snail mail!

Again, thank you all for your prayers and support. I am thankful y'all!

God bless and love from me,
Erin

And the Winner Is...

Hey everyone!! I am extremely excited to let y'all know a little bit of what has come to be in the last couple months since I didn't leave for Phase 2 in January like I was intending.

First, I got two new jobs. I had already put in my two weeks at Domino's when I thought I was going to be leaving for Denver in January. Since I didn't leave, it seemed like a good time to try something new! I'm currently working at Carter's (a children's clothing store) and Great Wolf Lodge, (in the spa where it's quiet and away from most of the lovely [and overwhelming] children). I've been working there and it has definitely been a new experience! Working with baby clothes, skin care products, and make up is not something I've ever done before.

While I was job hunting, I also had my mind racing a lot trying to figure out what I was doing next. With so many options in front of me, it has proved very difficult trying to make actual decisions. Finally I decided on and applied to the School of Worship at YWAM Denver. It's a school during the summer term and starts on May 9th, 2016. I'll be at the same base where I did DTS and I am so excited!! I have wanted to do some sort of School of Worship since I went to my first Acquire the Fire when I was in 8th grade. I'm so stoked that this door has opened up and I have the opportunity for this dream to become reality!

Honestly, I'm a little overwhelmed and a little bit terrified, afraid that I'll be out of my league when it comes to the talent I'll be surrounded by and I'm not quite sure what I'm getting myself into but I am looking forward to the challenge!

*There is so much more to the story with how I made my choice, as well as some of the other options I was looking at and more to my current journey. If you'd like to know more, I like telling stories and I'd love to grab coffee (or Skype!) sometime and chat!*

As with basically any YWAM school, I'm not able to work during the school, and so will have to pay for it in entirety as soon as possible. My goal is to have my school fully funded before I leave in order to be able to fully focus on the school. I will be continually working until I leave, but even with the numbers I've run, I will not be able to do it all on my own. I have some funds I had put toward Phase 2, which can transfer over to School of Worship, and with what I think I'm able to save from working, I will still have around $1,500 left which I need to raise.

In order to raise funds, I am always accepting donations (cash, check, etc). I am also selling home made arm knit chunky scarves for $20/ea (please message me if you're interested and/or would need shipping).

I am really excited for this School of Worship opportunity! If you have any questions, comments, prayer requests, or just want to talk at all, please feel free to message/text/call me. I will be keeping this blog updated over the next two months as I am on this road back to Denver!

God bless and love from me,
Erin

5 Months Later

On March 9th, it will have been 5 months since I graduated from DTS! It's crazy to me how fast that time has passed and how much has happened in those quick months. Seriously, where did February go?! I had a lot of good intentions over the last 5 months to post more pictures and to tell in more detail about what I did during DTS. Well, life got involved and I didn't follow through. However, one post has been hanging out in the back of my mind that I have needed to post. So this is it!

 The day before grad, we were spending time acknowledging our school director and basically thanking him for the ways he had poured into our lives over the last 5 months. I had been fighting a few different bugs for about two weeks so as my nose tried to run off my face, I had a tissue in hand and I was sniffling constantly. It was not the way I wanted to spend my last week in Denver! When I finished thanking him, he stared at me and asked if I would be willing to speak at grad the following day. I agreed and I was super excited for the opportunity to speak to people once more before my DTS journey came to a close.

Over the next 24 hours, my mind was racing as I tried to figure out what I would say. I had people giving me encouragements, but I also had people calling me out and challenging me to be real and go deeper. To actually show some vulnerability, which is not my favorite thing, to say the least. So, long story short, here's a recording of my speaking at grad and a little bit more of my experience over the course of the school and a few bits of what God taught me during DTS.

Erin at Home

Every day, I'm learning a little bit more about growing up. One of my biggest lessons as of late? Just because there is disappointment does not mean there is not peace about it- and that is okay.

I was supposed to leave yesterday to head back to Denver. Well, to see as I'm sitting in Fiddler's (in Centralia), that didn't happen. Last week as I was talking to who would have been one of my school's directors, the question arose of if I would be able to get the money to leave on Monday. When I got off the phone, God asked me a question which rang loud and clear, "If your plans fall apart, will you still trust me?"

Immediate response: "Of course!"

More thought: "I think so..."

Still more thought: "Yes. If it all falls apart, I will still trust You."

I continued wrestling with that through the week. I had been given a Friday deadline to come up with a certain amount of money and I honestly had no idea if I would be able to get it. I prayed. I called a few people. I prayed more. I went to coffee with people and talked with them, and the week wore on.

Long story short, I was given the choice of if I thought I should attend this school, and I said no. So I'm not in Denver today. My plans fell apart and I'm disappointed. I've cried. I've avoided talking to people (I'm sorry!). And I spent yesterday filling out job applications and watching too much Netflix instead of moving into my new room and reuniting with friends.

I'm an over-thinker and if I feel like I miss an opportunity, I will question over and over in my mind what I could have done differently or if I made the right decision.  Yet as I'm sitting here, disappointed that I'm not back in Denver on a new adventure; bummed out that I don't get to see a lot of people I was looking forward to seeing; sitting here, 1,324 miles (thank you, Google Maps) away from where I thought I'd be, I have an undeniable peace. My mind isn't racing, wondering if I made the right decision. For me, that is a big deal. My mind is resting from questioning if I was supposed to be in Denver and my God, through that uncharacteristic peace, has shown me that for now, I am right where I am supposed to be.

So what am I going to do now? Honestly, I'm not sure. My goal for today is to finish Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix (the book), make something delicious for lunch and/or dinner later, and rest in the fact that my God is higher. My God holds my future, and I have said I will trust Him, which means through the ups and downs, highs and lows, triumphs, and disappointments.

Prepping (Again)!

As I'm sitting here typing this, I have only 5 days before I'm supposed to leave to go back to YWAM Denver for the School of Ministry Development! To say I have a range of emotions is an understatement. I'm really looking forward to going back, but I'm not so much looking forward to the "goodbye's."

I am expectant for what God wants to do over these next three months as I grow in ways I have no clue about yet. I am also nervous as I walk into this new experience, as nerves come with new territory.

I'm also feeling humbled. I do not like asking for help- especially when it comes to money- but I need your help and I can't act like I don't. With leaving in 5 days, I still need almost $3,000 for the school. I need $1,200 of that by Friday in order to leave on Monday.

$3,000, and even $1,200, is incredibly daunting to me- especially with a 2-3 day limit. However, I believe God has called me to SOMD for this season and I believe He will provide through people like you.

Thank you for all your support and prayers! I look forward to sharing with you the huge ways God shows up over these next few months!

God bless!
Erin

If you would like more information on what I will be doing or how you can help, feel free to email me at missycook1@gmail.com or message me on Facebook.
Checks can be made payable to me and sent to: 205 Wakefield Drive Centralia, WA 98531
You can also donate online at the following link: https://www.ywamdenver.org/school_payments
*At this point in my missions journey, donations are not tax deductible*