Fears of not being good enough.
Fears of being overshadowed.
Fears of not getting the funds I need.
Fears that I'm making a huge mistake.
Fears of what people will think.
If you know me, you know I have some crazy dreams and if you really know me, you know that I can be a very jealous person. It is something I have to constantly face and let God mold my heart with. It's a battle which has torn holes in what I thought were solid friendships. To be real, my green envious face tends to show itself at the most inopportune times.
My latest challenge came when my best friend announced that she's doing SOW in May. In Denver. My selfishness immediately kicked in, thinking about how YWAM Denver was mine first. I knew those people first. Those were MY relationships.
No, seriously. In my mind, I sounded like a five year old. An incredibly selfish five year old.
But God has plans bigger than my selfishness. A day or so into my wallowing, God tapped me on the shoulder and reminded me of a dream I had a few years ago:
A and I were playing worship songs at the entrance of an Underground tunnel in the heart of London. A small group had gathered around us and as people passed, they questioned the motivation of these people barely playing guitar while singing, but they were interested.
That dream hasn't crossed my mind very much since I first encountered it, but as I stood there recalling it, God asked me, "What if this school together is the first step in making that dream a reality?"
God continues to amaze me in who He is; through His patience with my selfishness, His wisdom in my questioning, and His loyalty within friendships. He is a good Father and He is so invested in the little battles I fight every day.
A week ago, I was excited to leave Centralia because I got to go back to Denver and not have to deal with holes left in relationships back home. But now, I am excited to walk into battle to begin my unique School of Worship journey with my best friend by my side. God is good and I am excited to keep walking through the process of dreams becoming reality- even when it means stitching up holes; sometimes getting pricked by the needle.
**As the date grows closer, I still need approximately $2,000 by May 9th. If you would be interested in helping me on this journey, please feel free to message me on Facebook, text me, or leave a comment! If you would like to donate to my School of Worship, you can do so at the YWAM Denver online payments page. Or if you would like to know other information, please feel free to ask!**
Thank you so much for all your support and prayers!
A few specific prayer requests:
- Finances (approximately $2,000 in 4 weeks!)
- Packing
- Prayers for my school as we embark on this adventure!
Erin
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