Wanted

One night a few weeks ago, I had messaged my friend to see if they wanted to hang out. They didn't. And for some reason, that particular night, that was the last straw. As I drove and almost started crying, I wondered what was wrong with me, why they didn't want to hang out, and wondered who in the world would even want to hang out with me.

Super dramatic, right?!

Thankfully, through the dramatics, I was still in my right mind enough to realize there really was no point in finding myself so broken up about a friend not wanting to hang out one night. I started to question what could be the root behind the emotions I was feeling. Surely there was something deeper to make me so emotional at being turned down even though I'd just gotten off work and I wasn't so sure I even wanted to hang out right then anyway.

As I started to pray, I heard the word "wanted." My mind raced. Obviously if I'm wanted people will want to hang out with me all the time and whenever I ask, they'll be down to do something, right? Okay, not quite. As I pondered this word, "wanted," I realized where it was coming from. I reflected on other interactions I'd had lately where I'd felt separated from people or where I'd felt like I wasn't enough. In that reflection, I realized those times had stuck with me on a deeper level because I hadn't felt wanted.

I started thinking about world problems (because what else do you want to do after you get home after a long night at work?) and I started to realize there are a lot of times where if we actually let people around us know they are wanted, it could revolutionize the world. Like, what if everybody actually realized that when they walk in to a room, or when they get turned down from hanging out one night or when they are broken up with, they are wanted? Or, as an extreme example, what if kids seeking companionship online and finding radical indoctrination already knew they were wanted in the real world?

As I sat there, I found myself being reminded of who I am. I remembered times when I'd gotten hurt because I didn't feel wanted, I started to face moments I never wanted to face. I remembered one of my most painful relationships to date and I realized I had been so hurt partly because I'd felt disregarded when the door of that friendship closed. I realized that through all the times I'd been disappointed when it came to people, deeper down, I'd felt pushed aside and forgotten.

Through that awareness, I heard the words my heart needed, "You are wanted. You're a child of the King. You've let yourself get tied into the idea that your identity depends on what the people around you are doing. But that's a lie. You are wanted on your best and worse days... and so are they."

I realized that through my waiting to be wanted, I'd let myself forget who I am. I'd forgotten that even if I don't feel wanted, I am still chosen. Even when I don't hang out with friends on a free night, it doesn't mean I'm not surrounded by community who loves me and encourages me.

So that night two weeks ago sent me on this trip of not only remembering (even in small rejections) that I am wanted by more than just humans, I am wanted by my Creator. More so, not only am I wanted by my Creator, but so are "they." The people around me. The people who talk more than I wish they would or the people who respond to people even though there wasn't even anything said? They are wanted too. They want to be wanted, too. Isn't that what we're thinking about, on some level, when we're wishing we were being communicated with or when we are wishing we had someone around. Those of us who post something on social media in the name of "keeping people update," but are hoping for those likes or even a comment.

We all want to be wanted (yes, even the extreme introverts). I think a lot of us get so stuck on the idea of wanting to be wanted (even subconsciously) that we resort to waiting for people to recognize our worth. But that's not where it's supposed to come from. Even if that's sometimes where we get our reminders. So here's this, my reminder to you, once again. YOU are wanted. YOU are seen. YOU are valued. Not because you have people to spend time with. Not because you got a certain number of likes. You are valued because the ONE who made you said so. You are chosen because you the One who gave you your worth called you chosen. So I challenge you- let this be on your mind and your heart as you move forward this week. Remember you are valued. Remember the people around you are also valued. Treat them as such. Listen to them as if you can learn something from them (because you probably can). Remind them with your actions that they are loved. Remind them with your listening that they are wanted. Maybe by translating the love we have been given from Him, we just may revolutionize our worlds- which can in turn revolutionize THE world.

God bless and love from me,
Erin